10 Worst Types of WeChat Moments

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WeChat Likes are important. There's basically NO reason to do ANYTHING unless people are going to Like it on WeChat.

So here are some tips on recent trends and how to get more likes - because let's face it, there's nothing more important in life than being really really self-obsessed.

10

Suggested Lesbianism

Two girls, one selfie, is a standard concept. 'Oh aren't we so cute together!~' is the idea. But through 2016 we noticed the ladies pouting lips getting closer and closer together.

No, it wasn't our own sick desperation to wish it to happen, you can notice that in these pics the gals have started to do their pouts so close as to work the male onlooker up into a froth of liking compunction. Many are now literally kissing the other one on the cheek, to really guarantee a Like for girl-on-girl photos at any time of day.

9

My Horrifically Ugly Friend Makes Me Look Hot

Fat people grew in popularity through 2016. The value of having a fat and/or physically unappealing friend is that you can always look better than them. It isn't a coincidence that most of the ladies on our WeChat keep taking selfies with the ugliest friend that they have. So take tubby out for burgers and while they're mid-chomp, take a quick snap of yourselves together and look like hot stuff.

8

I Have a Child So I am More Important Than You

What's the point of going through the difficulty of parenting unless you can use the little buggers to get you WeChat Likes? Reading a bedtime story? Sight. They drew something or vomited? Photo collection. Are they wearing clothes? Then everyone on your WeChat is just desperate to know! Share!

7

Prime Positioning

When taking a selfie with another friend, the trend has been to slowly phase them out of the selfie with each snap. The caption is usually something like 'Great to see my best friend at Xintiandi!', with the first photo of the two smiling. By photo 3, their friend is half out of the image, while by pic 6 it's just their super-edited face grinning whitely.

6

Celebrating Women Online

It's common to see a woman here make a post congratulating another on an achievement, saying 'girl power' or somesuch. Or they like to copy-paste an image on feminism. This is all well and good, but their offline behavior could improve. I mean, maybe stop making bitchy comments endlessly about your female colleague. Maybe stop being passive-aggressive to your female acquaintances all the time. Maybe stop gossiping behind another gal's back. Or don't - it is your right to choose, of course.

5

I Fly Business Class

Paying the extra ticket fee is worth is because you can take photos of the business lounge, your ticket that says 'business class', and also the back of the seat in front, to show people that you fly business class - 'class' being somewhat ironic in this case.

4

Free Surgery

Flights from China to Korea must be half-empty now, as ladies don't need to save up for surgery any more - they can just erase the features that they really hate about themselves using an app.

Bigger eyes, lighter skin, less of a jawbone - basically deliberate ethnic cleansing committed upon themselves. The only problem with that is that when you meet someone in person it looks like their face is swollen and tanned, as it's nothing like their WeChat post. 

3

I Have a Cold, GIVE ME ATTENTION

If you have tried all of the above but aren't racking up the likes and still feel empty inside, then take a photo of some medicine and yourself in a hoodie. 'I have a cold and I feel unwell' is one option for the sympathy vote. This also gives you an opportunity to take a pic of yourself in bed looking pitiful. 

2

Aren't I Just Like A Cat?!

You must have seen at least one person (generally female) take a photo of herself with cats or in consecutive photos next to a photo of cats. 'It's just me and Tigger here on a Saturday morning' is the general idea, with the perpetrator hoping that some feline charm will rub off on her and make men think 'she is so adorable I must buy her cake and material goods'. Again, this is a really great opportunity for a photo in bed on a white duvet, sideways and looking as though you have absolutely no intelligence or integrity. Sorry, we mean 'cute'. 

1

Check Out My Bod

Join a gym, share photos and sights of you doing bicep girls in a 'gym shark' tank top, or if you're a gal, chuff as you do the thigh machine in lycra. Easy.

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